Self titled Queen of not giving a fuck, Tayla has journeyed through more of life than most anyone ever could and has come out the other side with an outlook that everyone ought to take note of. From the moment we stumbled across this unabashedly honest and open character, it became clear we had a lot to learn. Most obvious was the innate self love that oozes from Tay. Not to get that twisted with self entitlement which Iz and Tay touch on in the interview below. Rather, Tay has harnessed the entirely deserving pride in herself that is inherent in everyone but often overlooked by the most worthy. Tayla is studying to be a social worker, with a mission to infiltrate the often privileged social services community with a first hand experience perspective. Tay’s drive to give more to a seriously lacking service - and often thankless job - is admirable to say the least. 

As a proponent of self love and acceptance, Tayla is an outspoken advocate for a bunch of really important issues revolving around her experience and that of those around her. Tay shares her journey and perspectives as a sex worker, finding her footing and agency within an industry that she describes as another world. Tay has turned her experience into advocacy by discussing these often taboo topics, things like sex work, mental health and abuse in an open and refreshing way. Being herself is obviously in Tayla’s best interest and the beautiful byproduct of sharing is inadvertently encouraging others to follow that lead. 

Tayla welcomed Iz and #1 crew leader Myles, into her Sydney home late last year to talk until the sun set and we had to stop because we don’t have lights. We get into a whole bunch of different topics in this interview, we got to know Tayla and we walked away with more of our own self love than when we arrived. Watch or read the interview below but if you’re interested in the exclusive extended version, join the Hypnotics Family via our patreon and help us get some lights! Enjoy x

What do you listen to? What were you listening to when we walked in? 
Everything. I don’t know. This is one of the questions that freaks me out because I never can answer what artist I listen to. I listen to happy hard music, I listen to NRG, I listen to old music, opera, disney music. Like there’s no thing to it. 

When Spotify put out the video of my top listens, there was no consensus.
Me too! I had Thundamentals though. I don’t know how because I hadn’t listened to them in like a year, or years, but they were my top artist of the decade. I must have smashed it! It was a vibe.

There was definitely a good stage there where it was like, oh yeah, summer Thundamentals time. 
It was! Really. I saw them first when they were only just coming up at Springwood Library. 

So are you a Lower Mountains person? Where were you at school?
I went to St Columba’s, I lived in Hazelbrook. I’m doing a Community Services course now. It’s fucking so hard. But the work itself is so easy and I’m able to do it, but when I’m looking at assessments it’s too hard. I’m doing Cert III. I tried to do Diploma but it was too hard. I find it really difficult. At the moment I’m doing, like… You know what Community Services is, like social work? So I’ve got a placement at the moment with Mission Australia, like mental health. Like the sickest of the sick, do you know what I mean? And integrating them back into the community. 

That’s amazing work. What drew you to want to do that even though it was so fucking difficult?
Because I want to work with youth. I want to do youth, or drug and alcohol, or domestic violence. I’m not sure where I wanna work. I was in foster care my whole life and I think I’m really lucky because I turned out alright. But then there’s people that like-. I don’t think I know anyone that I was in care with when I was growing up that isn’t fucked up. Because it’s like, you’re either too fucked up from what you’ve been through, or you’re able to kind of work your way through it and be okay. Well, who else is going to make a change, you know? There are people that obviously mean really well and a lot of social workers do fall into this category, they’re from really accomplished backgrounds. But they just don’t have the knowledge to be able to actually connect with people.

Do you want to tell me about your life?
Yeah! Well I think it’s a big part of why I am the way I am I think. Because I was in foster care from the age of 2 or something, I’ve just always been by myself and I had to kind of bring myself up. So that’s why I’m so independent. I haven’t been forever, this is kind of only a new thing. It’s a massive thing for me, it’s like a new chapter of my life where I am able to love myself, you know what I mean? And I am really proud of myself. Because I’ve had so much shit that obviously when you’ve been brought up like that with drug and alcohol, like my parents are addicts, then you end up falling into it. And mental health and trauma is what I am most passionate about, like childhood trauma. 

It (trauma) impacts so greatly on the rest of your life. 
So much. And it’s not really spoken about as much as what it needs to be. It needs to be normalised because everyone has some element of trauma that has happened in their life that has had an impact on them. Whether it be if they can’t hold a job down or they have substance issues or they end up with abuse partners, which is what I’ve experienced, or all of those things. But you don’t know. You don’t realise, you know? But if you had someone reminding you and talking about it earlier on you could be like wow this is not normal. And it’s probably happening to people around you and you don’t even know. I think everyone knows someone, it’s like 1 in 5, it’s a lot of people. It’s crazy. It’s fucked up. 

It blows my mind that it’s not already spoken about, there’s just so many of us. 
They’re embarrassed though, everyones embarrassed. Or they want to only portray this very perfect life, and it’s just so unhealthy. That’s such a massive aspect of social media. 

That is a scary part of it, hey? I go through these luls…
Of hating it and loving it?

Yeah! Or realising how much I care about it, it’s stupid. 
Yes! It is a thing! It’s a thing. It does not matter in any capacity. It’s also a thing of people who don’t like what you post or whatever, why do we care what they think anyway? Like in real life would you care if someone said to you ‘I don’t like that outfit’. You’d be like ‘eat a dick, I don’t care!’. It’s so weird, but it’s just like imagine being fifteen. Imagine!

I thought it was bad enough when I was fifteen and that was already like such a big part of it or whatever but to be fifteen now, that’s less than ten years difference for me, and it’s so apparently different. It’s so intense. 
So different. Imagine what they’re gonna be like when they’re in their twenties, it’s scary. 

I already want to do so much stuff to my face because of filters, it fucks me up.
No! And you’re a woman.

So you were growing up as a foster child, how and when did you get out of that space?
So I was really lucky because I was still quite close with my elder sister and she got custody of me, but my Mum ruined it, and then I had to go back into living with friends. I had a boyfriend that my foster Mum wouldn’t let me see and I ran away and ended up just back and forth between my sister’s and my friend’s until I was fourteen. I was a ward of state. I was in care off and on and then I was taken forever at seven, so then I was a ward of state which means you can’t go back to your parents and then I was with one foster family for like seven years but it was really shit, it was so bad. So then I left when I was fourteen and then was living with my sister until eighteen and then moved to Newtown at eighteen.

(A section of this interview has been cut out here and is accessible to Hypnotics Fam Patreon Members only)

I love that it just breaks down the media narrative. 
It’s when you know someone though, you know? Like I know a lot of people don’t know someone who is Muslim. Especially when you grow up in the mountains where it’s all white people, like of course I know. I get that though, I do understand it’s just ignorance. When you know people it’s kind of like wow! It’s not like that. 

It’s the same with everything like that. It’s the same with addictions, trauma. It’s the same with sex work, like if you just don’t fucking know. 
You don’t know, yeah. I used to be so against it. 

Sex work? Tell me more about that.
Yeah, fucking oath! Like not against it, but I just could never imagine ever. But just because I’m a bit of a tomboy, I’ve never been very sexy or sexual, you know what I mean? I’ve always had boyfriends that aren’t very sexual. I’ve been in ten years of relationships which is a fucking lot, a lot of time. My Mum was a sex worker, but then I only found that out a couple of years ago. But I never could have imagined it. I wasn’t against it but I was just like ‘I don’t know how you do it, ew!’, you know?

Just not understanding the concept.
Yeah because you’re young! You’re young and you have no idea and you don’t know anyone who does it, it’s so foreign. 

It’s like this movie thing of ‘do you just stand on the corner all night? Like “What do you do?”
But it literally is like a whole other world, it’s not part of the normal world, like it’s not. 

How do you discover it? What brought you into it? 
I started topless waitressing when I was twenty-one, which was so long ago now I think about it. That’s so long ago, six years ago. But it really formed who I am today just bartending, you know? Because I came from being this fucked up teenager to then just working full time because you have to, you have to support yourself any way you can. My friend was a topless waitress and she was like ‘you should just do it’. And I was chubby and this nerdy little… well like I wasn’t nerdy but I used to shop at like Dangerfield, you know? Those dresses that were weirdly long and frumpy. And then I started doing it and then I lost myself to it big time. Like completely. All I cared about was money and I was working like fucking crazy hours. I had so much money but then I’d just be bendering all the time and I was like this blonde, long haired bimbo. It was fucked up. If I met that person now I would fucking hate them. Because I didn’t like myself at all, I hated myself. I was just really lost. But then I found a boyfriend. I met a guy, this Turkish guy who made me quit. At the time I was like ‘fuck you, this is who I am!’ but I was so lucky it happened. So then I was a PT for a couple of years, and then I broke up with him because he was really really - he was so abusive. And then got rid of him, and then I started stripping, and now I’m full service work. But it’s so good! It suits my life, you know? It’s just a job. 

Is it just the fundamental concept of you loving yourself coming into it this time that you think has made the better side of it come out?
I don’t know. Obviously there are really bad sides to it even now, but I just think of it more like I’m taking what I can from it and it’s not taking up my life. Whereas in the past it was all I was and my identity, yeah. Because I’ve got traits of borderline, so my sense of self in the past has been so loose, so I stuck to it so much. But now no. That’s all I was, that was like part of who I was but it’s not like that anymore. Just my self, I’m able to just do heaps of all different stuff. So it’s kind of just been good. Helped me along. 

Your journey with self love, like you literally have a tattoo with your name in a love heart, which I think everybody needs. Maybe not your name, but their own name. Or your name could be fine too!
I’d be happy with either. 

So when did you get that? Why did you get that?
I had broken up with that guy and I ended up checking myself into a psych ward for a few months, and then I got out because like…  my obsession with unicorns is only a new thing too. I’m obsessed with unicorns, and I got a tattoo of a unicorn and a tattoo of my name on my arm to represent me leaving him and becoming my own person. I get goosebumps thinking about it. It was like just becoming myself, because I’ve just always been in really crappy relationships. Just always partying heaps and I had no idea who I was. I’ve gotten myself through this, and that’s literally just to represent that part of my life. But the ‘Tayla’, I’m like I’m the only person I can be proud of, you know what I mean? So that’s why I got it. It can look sort of narcissistic but it’s not like that.

It just looks like self love. 
Well yeah, exactly. I think I can come across as this like, if you didn’t know anything about me, I would look like a fucking wanker. But I do love myself. It’s not coming from a place of arrogance, it’s literally like survival, and I’m really proud of myself. 

I think there’s a nasty thing where people want to associate self love with arrogance or whatever?
*nods* Eyes to the fucking floor, no one else is any of your business. You know?

Yep. Preach it. One hundred percent. And everybody is entitled, and I would encourage them, to love themselves. It’s so hard, but it’s number one. 
It’s so sad that we don’t. It’s so sad that most people just don’t. It is maybe an element of me being a Leo as well (laughs). It’s an extreme version of that. But everyone needs to. It’s not normal to, and it should be. That should be the most normal thing. 

I completely agree. It’s not the default. Like the default - 
Is to hate yourself. 

Yeah! And that’s where everyone’s little fucking judgements and weird projections and shit. 
They’re jealous though, as well. It’s kind of like me loving myself is not making - I’m not above you. I’m not even comparing myself to - 

To you at all! It’s literally nothing to do with ya. 
Yeah, it is like that. It is really sad. But it’s just how society is geared isn’t it? Because if we loved ourselves we wouldn’t be buying shit. 

Fucking capitalism. 
Capitalism, yeah. That’s what it is. That’s literally all it is. 

If capitalism was a person, they’d be the only person I punched in the face, hey. I’m well and truly done with it. 
Yeah, I think everyone is. Well not everyone but we’re coming up. We need to start making some changes. 

This thing Glady Berejiklian getting around in the naughty naughty with fucking criminals? 
I know! What a bad bitch! She’s like refusing to stand down too. 

Fucking bitch (laughs). 
The pool for dating would be quite small if you were Gladys (laughs).

That’s what me and Myles were saying, I mean it makes sense doesn’t it. Who else is she gonna date?
Who else is she gonna date? And rub shoulders with? Like fuck. 

Don’t know why she bothered keeping it a secret. It’s not like I was surprised. 
I know! It’s funny! Embrace it. Get that criminal dick. 

How do you reckon that people’s judgement of one another when it comes to sex work affects society at large? The lack of acceptance of sexual liberty and just happiness itself. How does that affect people do you think? 
How does that affect workers, or just the average pop.

Personally and the average pop.
For me I haven’t had it affect me. First of all my family is fine with it which is a massive aspect of people’s journeys with that. Like they can’t tell anyone, so I can’t imagine how isolating that would be. Because it’s taboo, it’s also because women are taking control of and taking ownership of their sexuality. That’s literally the only reason people have a problem with it. Like, it’s fucked up. And because we’re making money off pathetic men. Do you know what I mean? I don’t give a fuck. It’s the truth. It’s the fucking truth. We’re making money off these guys and I don’t think people like that. We’re in control of it. 

But there’s a market for it. They want that. How upset would they be if that wasn’t there.
Of course! Exactly. The amount of money that is out there, it’s literally unlimited. Like I can’t even explain it. I can’t stress that enough. Does that answer that question?

Yeah I guess so, just yeah why is it so fucking hard for people to swallow? 
It’s because it’s so taboo for women to be able to take control of their sexuality. It’s because we have this weird idea of sex that it’s like ‘sex is special and sacred’, but like is it? Like you’ll go home with a random person from a bar, like that’s not sacred. I’m trying to think of something to compare it to, I don’t know…  I look at it like my vagina is my vagina and my hands are my hands and there’s people who are bricklayers, you know? But then they ruin their fucking bodies and have to work forty hours a week, or sixty hours a week. 

Or like football players just like concussing themselves to death.
I know! They go into early onset dementia and alzheimers, like it’s fucked up.

And like being a hoe hurt nobody. 
It’s helping people! 

There is that aspect of sex work which is like super super societally helpful where it’s like people with disabilities or like just normal fucking joe blow who just wants to feel some love. 
Yeah! They just want to feel loved. Or just like want good sex. Like, fuck! I’ve had a lot of issues in terms of relationships obviously that’s really hard and complicated - 

Like them accepting the sex work?
Yeah, but me logically I’m like how can you not understand that this is just a job to me. Like I don’t even count the people that I sleep with at work as people that I’ve slept with. It’s not even on my body count because that’s work. It’s so ridiculous. I’m really lucky because my family is supportive of it. So I don’t need to hide and I’m not ashamed of it.

That would be a huge thing, hey. 
It’s a massive thing. My sisters are both like, bitch we know what it’s like to be poor, we’ve had such a hard life so fucking power to you that you’re not struggling. If I hadn’t have started waitressing when I was twenty one I would be - I don’t know where I would be. 

How much do you get for topless waitressing? 
That’s a hundred bucks an hour. And that’s just getting paid just to party with people. You’re literally just a waitress.

You just happen to not have a top on.
Yeah! It’s no big deal. And I have really good tits, like why would I not do it? I don’t know who I would be now if it wasn’t for, especially now, for sex work like it saved my life. In terms of - I’m able to support myself and I don’t have to… Like my mental health is so fucked from what I’ve been through in my life, like not anything to do with work, but just life. I can’t hold down a job, you know what I mean? 

Yeah, this is like putting it all in your court. Like everything from the hours to -
Yep, I’ll work once a month if I want to, so it’s good. But I’m very lucky though, very very lucky because I’m a very privileged sex worker. And I know that I am. 

There’s a big sphere of like not great experiences. 
Of course, and also just people who do have to work really long hours even doing sex work. I’m lucky. But I know that I’m lucky. 

You’re like in the top ten percent of Only Fans creators, is that what I was looking at?
I was, yes. I was. I got to like point seven four or something, but it’s so hard. Only Fans is such bullshit. I can’t do it anymore. 

When did you make that transition to Only Fans? Is it kind of new, or?
It wasn’t even a transition, I literally did it during covid when all of the clubs were closed and the parlours were shut. And at that stage I wasn’t privately escorting, so I had no money coming in, I couldn’t work at parlours or anything. So I was like I need to do something, so then I got into that and it got me through covid but it’s such a pain in the ass. I can’t be fucked. 

What goes into it? I mean it’s social media, right? 
It’s just a lot of energy, a lot of time. It doesn’t matter how good your internet is it takes fucking forever to send people videos. It’s a nightmare. It’s so annoying. You have to wait ages to get your money. It’s just annoying. And it’s also really hard as well because I don’t like working from home because this is my home. This is my house, I’m Tayla when I’m here, I’m not any of my alter egos. I need to have the distinct lines of this is who I am now - but then when you’re making content here, and having to put my wig on and just like it fucks with my head too much.  

How’s shaving your head been? 
Good! (laughs) It’s been nearly two years now! 

Fuck that’s a pretty long time! And you’ve kept it. Have you had the urge to grow it out again?
I was seeing this guy and he was like ‘I like you better with hair’, and I started growing it but it got to like this long and I ended up shaving it. I kicked him out and then I shaved it off that day. I don’t think I’ll ever have hair again ever. It suits me so much more, so I’m very lucky. But also I love it. 

Do you get to know the people that are subscribed to your Only Fans personally? 
You kind of do. You do. Especially the good loyal ones because you talk to them a lot, they’re cuties. I’m phasing that out though. I’m phasing out my Only Fans. I can’t be fucked. 

Fuck yeah, good on ya. So now that Covid is lifting and stuff what’s on the horizon for you? 
In terms of working just doing full service stuff. Because I could potentially get so many people booking me if I shared where I was advertised in terms of on my ***** instagram, but I just don’t… I don’t want to say it because it’s mean… but I wouldn’t want to fuck most of my fans. Do you know what I mean? Like I know them and like just I can’t imagine. Most of my clients are really hot. 

So we just don’t need to dilute the pool with random instagram followers. 
No, and they get too stalky because they think that they know you personally. And I’d rather someone just be like, here, this is all it is, see you next time. 

These are the sort of intricacies I’m so curious about. 
You want to separate it because you don’t want people thinking that they know you because that blurs the lines, you know? Like don’t think you can message me just randomly being like ‘hey how are you’, like no, that’s not how it works. You come here, I’m here, that’s finished, okay goodbye. 

Yeah, separate shit. All other professions have that work life balance just the same. 
You’re working for yourself and I think people really do forget that, like baby hoes or whatever, like you do forget. 

Baby hoes!
That’s what they’re called girl, that’s what you call them like they just forget that you’re working for yourself. You’re your own boss, you need to be able to set up that work life balance because you will lose yourself if you don’t. There is that really fine line of your work persona and your real persona, which is each to their own, but I just think that it’s a lot healthier to have them separate. 

I think chats are cool, and I really want to gain different perspectives of what life is fucking like for people. Especially with self love, I think that’s super important. You’re a good person to talk to about self love.
It’s a journey. 

Anything else you want to say? 
Not really, just everyone go and get their name tattooed on themselves in a love heart. 

Fuck yeah. If anybody does do that, please send us a photo because that would actually really be so cool. 
Everyone should do it. 

Alright. Are we done?
Yeah. Thank you, that was so cute.